Aug 27, 2022 filed under Courage, Humility.

Shame child head in basket

“In you, Lord, I put my trust: let me never be put to shame (Ps 31:1).”

Sounds good, but what kind of shame are we talking about? Does it mean I’ll never burn the Thanksgiving turkey again or press “Reply All” when my snarky comment was meant for only one person?

Not really. Feeling guilty before God is the only kind that counts in the end. It’s always caused by following our plans without checking in with God first. Guilt that we stepped into a mess because we ignored or forgot to ask for his guidance.

Shame is different than guilt. Guilt can be healthy if we have actually sinned and our conscience nudges us to confess it. Shame, on the other hand, is not the voice of God — it’s the voice of the enemy. To human eyes, the most shameful thing was Jesus’ crucifixion, yet his human “shame” bought dignity and wholeness for every person who would ever live.

The psalmist reminds us how much effort we sometimes put into avoiding shame at the “human” level—avoiding human shame while pursuing human praise! But is that really important to God? Jesus and his Mother were willing to face human shame to live out God’s greater plan.

The trap
The psalmist says: “You will lead me out of the trap they have laid for me….”

A trap I fall into too easily is treating my time as my own. A habit of plowing ahead with our to-do list without checking in with God can lead to needless anxiety and, yes, shame—if we don’t pray first, and thank God for His help afterward. Avoiding that trap leads to the peace of knowing we’re doing God’s will and not our own.

Pride can make us see our gifts and time as “mine,” so we use those gifts to avoid being criticized or gain praise from others (which can be stressful) rather than following God’s gentle voice (which, again, brings peace).

When we’re frazzled by a long to-do list, we’re like the psalmist: “Tear me from the grip of my enemies, from those who hound me.” Do we realize that when we forget God’s guidance, our enemies start to hound us with lies like, “You’re not enough,” or “Nobody loves you or appreciates what you do.” The psalmist writes, “I have heard the scolding of the crowd.” And often the “crowd” shaming us is the prideful voices in our own head, “I should be more, I should be doing more.”

The truth
Sometimes the hardest thing to hear is, I love you more than you can imagine just as you are. Come—take my hand and follow me. But that is the voice of God and it is the truth.

Psalm 31 continues: “You did not leave me locked in the grip of the enemy, but set my feet on free and open ground.” Only in our humble moments do we understand how listening to God to follow His will is the only freedom worth having.

It takes courage to look away from our to-do list and turn to God during the day. But if we do, we can sing, free from shame, with the psalmist: “Be brave, let your hearts be strong, all who trust in the Lord.”

Lord, let me check in with you as I plan and carry out my day. You have given me gifts, including my time—but they can’t do any good if I leave you out. Let me cooperate with you and “I will rejoice and be glad in your kindness.”

Love always,

P.S. The best way to keep inner peace is to keep our close connection with God. How are you doing with that? If you’d like to chat about how I might be able to support you in having a close relationship with God, less worry, and less stress, schedule a call with me here:


11 Responses to “The Pride of Shame”

  1. mary klein-herstein

    I just saw myself falling into the shame category with our Altar & Rosary after Saturday Mass and I understand now how it entails the machination of Satan. It also robbed me of peace of mind. I need to be more mindful of that and how it works against humility and enforces pride.

  2. Sharon Shultz

    I love your blogs, Rose!
    Thank you and God bless you and your loved ones.

  3. Diane Upham

    Dear Rose,
    How do you always have the perfect message for me at the exact time I need it? God lays it on your beautiful heart, right? I have been struggling with a very sick neighbor with brain cancer. My husband and I have done quite a bit for them, but their situation is dire and they are not considering their best options. Their sons have paved the way for assisted living but they turned down a two bedroom apartment because they said it was too small for all their ‘stuff’. Neighbors are weary from taking meals, etc for the last few weeks and their sons are exhausted with trying to reason with them. It is a very tough scenario. We took a pre-prepared dinner over last night. They asked if we could cook a more labor-intensive recipe for them. I replied that we were training for a charity ride for MS and aren’t doing much cooking at this time, but would do it in two weeks. I feel badly, but we have been providing food every week for three weeks. One of their sons will be back on Wednesday, hopefully to take groceries or cook for them. I am resting in the arms of My Lord & Savior that He will lead me through these events so that I will not feel quilt and I am keeping all of our neighbors in my fervent prayers.
    What else can I do?

    • Darlene Dorr

      I find that when I am stressed, not knowing what to do over the situation I do exactly what you are doing, resting in the arms of our Lord and Savior. I pray the Surrender Novena and I find peace.

  4. Debbie

    Good morning Rose,
    I love Charolets web, so beautiful.
    Such a cute picture of the child with the basket over her head. Many times I too have put a basket over my head, only to remove it and move forward.
    What a blessing we have of the Sacrament of Confession, just to unload and to know in your heart you are loved and forgiven, and to move forward again, to do HIS will, not my will.
    Thank you Rose
    In Christ,

  5. Helen

    Thank you so much Rose. I have been struggling with guilt also. I have not been able to pray the Rosary and the Divine Mercy prayers since before my daughter passed. I try but there is too many distractions. Each time this happens I look for readings to help, but my searching always bring me to better to speak to Our Lord then saying insincere prayers. I feel very guilty like I am not worthy for Jesus and Mary. I do as the readings suggest, but I miss saying these prayers

    • Patricia Brophy

      Jesus & Mary know & see your struggles in praying the rosary. Even if you can’t focus & meditate as you’d like to . You are still saying the beautiful Hail Marys & Our Fathers taken from the Bible. I don’t think many pray the rosary perfect . Also Our Lady & Our Lord know you’re pain , grief & sorrow that you’re in. So taking time to rest in them & just be , is precious & comforting. Be sure to take that time too . I’m so sorry for your daughters’ passing . And God Bless you . ❤️

  6. Mary Anderson

    SHAME is always from the enemy!!
    I give all of those ugly feelings of shame to our Lady! Once you offer it to her the enemy is rendered impotent!! They’re terrified of her!
    They have NO POWER over our Lady!!

  7. Helen

    I have never given this to Our Lady. After I search I do speak to Her and Jesus but just usually ask why this is
    happening and say I am so sorry. I will definitely work on removing myself as the cause and place this in Her hands. Thank you so much you have lifted a weight from me.

  8. Tom Roberts

    Guilt, shame. Guilt says you did something bad. Shame says you are bad. No shortage of opinions. It’s time to remember what Duke Ellington said: “Love IS unconditional; it’s not ‘Where have you been?’ It’s how are you?”